SPY 36: Being an Emotional Adult

Emotional Childhood is just a fancy term for chronic blame.

Emotional Adulthood is a just a fancy term for habituated responsibility.

In emotional childhood we blame all of our problems, emotions, life circumstances, and limits on the external world (including other humans).

In emotional adulthood we take full responsibility for everything in our life—yes—even the things that our toddler brain would consider “not fair.”

We are willing to venture into the discomfort. To face all of our dirty laundry. To own up to the hardest truths we wish we could avoid.

Because we know that having ownership over our life (OUR WHOLE LIFE—not just the “nice” parts) feels so much better than being helpless to it—and we always have the choice.

Emotional adults choose not to give their power away to anyone, they hold it close to their hearts and use it wisely with intention and love.

Emotional children HAVE to give their power away, because they chronically believe they have NO power—even though this isn’t true.

They do this in messy, destructive ways because they are so angry at the world while they feel stuck in a state of blame.

To go from BEING an emotional child to BEING an emotional adult is kinda like going from driving on a freshly paved, asphalt, straight road with no inclines or sharp turns.

TO driving on a dirt road riddled with potholes, mud splashing everywhere, and constant twisty turnys.

It don’t feel great to switch from one to the other.

So why am I suggesting you switch from the smooth to the rougher path today?

Am I just a meany head?

no.

It’s cuz I love you.

That smooth road may appear to be the less problematic and more comfortable to go down, but in order to travel it you have to trade in all of your agency and emotional autonomy.

You pay the ultimate price in order to avoid some temporary discomfort.

When you THINK you’re riding down a smooth, cherry lane…

You are INTERNALLY agitated, frustrated, resentful, angry, confused, stuck, bored, and anxious!

You hurt yourself. You beat yourself up. You metaphorically punch yourself repeatedly in the face.

AND… there’s nothing you can do about changing ANY PART of that experience on the “easy” road.

You have to decide to finally take a sharp left turn and exit off into the wild.

You have to be willing to let the newfound roughness under your tires JAR you a little bit at first.

There is a PRICE to becoming an emotional adult.

And it is temporary discomfort.

But it is SAFE to travel and worth the trip.

Here are all the amazing tradeoffs:

Once you exit emotional childhood, you receive 100% emotional autonomy and agency over your life.

You experience more empowerment, calmness, and certainty—yes— even though the road it rougher.

You feel deeper connections and intimacy in your relationships (especially the one with yourself).

You have less arguments (internal or external), less frustration and stress, less INTERNAL chaos.

Yes, your physical being will experience some rowdy sensations—you will hit some deep metaphorical potholes that may send your brain down into your butt—but you will be free.

Your freedom from chronic blame and stuckness is priceless.

You were designed to navigate the deep wilderness of your heart, my love.

Not to stay in this painful illusion of easy street.

Don’t venture in the wild for the first time without a guide—we are meant to travel together my friend! Reach out to book a free consult call by simply replying to this email to officially get started on the path of emotional adulthood. Go to