Ever notice how respect is oftentimes confused with fear?
We weren’t really taught to respect adults growing up…
We were taught to fear them.
To obey blindly, to conform swiftly, to fall in line or be punished!
Subtly but surely over time, kids learn that giving and receiving respect looks and feels a lot like being afraid.
This creates adults who are partly afraid of their intimate connections with others (vulnerability, openness, safety), but mostly afraid of their connection to themself.
Why?
Because when fear (“respect”) is used for any type of behavior modification when kids are young (so all of us?), that child’s brain is learning to override their innate emotional immune system.
In clinical terms, this is big no, no, bad, bad.
That child is learning to ignore and suppress what’s valid and true for them in order to avoid punishment—by means of survival.
Our emotional needs when we are little humans is no fucking joke.
And unfortunately, all this incredible information about emotional needs just wasn’t available for us millennials (or any prior generation in the western world for that matter).
Not only do we have to turn our own emotional immune systems BACK ON and get them functioning again, some of us are already parents and have to make sure our children’s never turn OFF.
(there are literal studies about how crucial this is, look some up!)
We must first exchange our confusing, backwards and upside down understanding of fearful respect and REPLACE it with true respect.
True respect looks, feels, and sounds different.
It creates vastly different results.
It fosters connectivity, communication, and calmness.
Learn more about how common it is to confuse respect with fear on today’s newest Stop Punishing Yourself podcast episode.
I definitely get heated up and have my brain firing on all cylinders in this one.
Teaching and embodying conscious parenting is one of my highest priorities in my work—even if the only person I am currently parenting is MYSELF. (and my dog of course.)
Ok love you have a great day or else.
Go to elliciaturnercoaching.com to book a free consult with me.