This episode should probably be titled: "Trying to Hide From Shame" but I didn't think of that until after it was recorded.
Last night at work I was met face to face with what I had been THINKING was the worst that could happen.
The experience brought me into tons of powerful awareness and offered me some perspective shifts and it's just too juicy to keep to myself.
I have to start from the top, though.
Last year I lied to myself about something big: why I wanted to quit my restaurant job.
I told myself I wanted to devote all my spare time to creating more value in my coaching business, but this wasn't 100% true.
What was MORE true was I wanted to run away from feeling the shame I had about being a life coach who still served tables at a restaurant.
This shame was ancient, it really had nothing to do with life coaching or my business.
It existed LONG before I ever got certified as a coach or signed my first client.
It's a common shame that many people share.
It's the kind of shame that comes from insidiously and subconsciously attaching our worthiness to our job title or our level of measurable productivity.
It's a combination of emotional insecurity (seeking/needing approval from "society") while also living under the stressors of capitalism (profit > human life).
It's something I had done some work on... but by no means have I conquered this mountain top yet (I do intend to).
The main message of this story I share on today's podcast is this:
When shame is present in our subconscious, we will go to great lengths to avoid ever having to face it.
This is very human of us, and normal.
However, in the avoiding of the shame--in the midst of that losing race--the worst that we can ever imagine happening is not only already HAPPENING in the abandoning of ourselves, but it's also being PROLONGED and unnecessarily extended in a way that adds more suffering to the 50/50 of life.
Did you hear me?
When we do crazy things in an attempt to outrun or outsmart our shame and somehow "escape" it, we abandon ourselves, our values, our soul in that process.
We are afraid that facing the shame means that we'll discover we are shameful.
When facing the shame ACTUALLY means we begin to live freer from it.
Trying to hide from or avoid our shame is like a murderer breaking into the house and going to cuddle up next to him to try to stay safe.
It's literally the most dangerous place you could be.
I promise, the worst that can happen is already happening.
Because the worst that can happen is you avoiding facing the shame you feel and never freeing yourself from it.
Listen to today's episode to learn from my attempt at hiding from shame and how you can avoid some pitfalls in the process.
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